I haven’t officially quit from ROTC. Well, not until my lab results come out. My officers didn’t allow me to quit since they want me to give them proof that I should stop from the rigorous training we’re having. Until the results come out, I’m still part of the Honor Guard — and will continue training.
I have, approximately, been training for two months now. I have undergone physical training beyond what I have ever done before. It’s not JUST any ordinary physical training: we do the army dozen; apart from that, we do push ups and crunches; we run for more than an hour in our heavy fatigue and combat shoes (uphill, most of the time); while running we carry our heavy rifle; and many more. After doing all this… I can only think of one question to ask myself: Is it all worth it? I don’t know.
Why am I still training despite the fact that I’m really making it hard on myself? I don’t know. I’m not staying because I’m enjoying that training. Heck, I hate it. I hate being shouted at. I hate feeling so drained all the time. I hate not being able to look up in fear that I’d make eye contact with an officer. So, why am I still training? As cheesy as it may sound, it’s because of the people I have been training with since day one.
I didn’t just gain comrades. I gained brothers and sisters. We’ve been through hell together, and it’s so hard to turn my back on them just because I’m tired of the training.
I know I won’t really get anything big from training — just a sore back and aching feet — but it sure feels good to know that there are people watching my back; people who will help you out every time you fall down on your knees (literally and figuratively speaking).
IS IT WORTH IT? I guess. I just hope this feeling of being part of a united group will overpower every physical and emotional pain I’m feeling right now.
